In Remembrance

Feisty, fiery, full of life.

These are just some of the words to describe my grandma.

She was always so vivacious and active. Even as the years passed, I never thought of her as getting older. She was just Grandma. “90 years young,” was often said, and it reflects her spirit up until the end.

One of my favorite photos is of me and my cousin Josh when we’re little, taken outside of Friendly’s, right after going to see Sesame Street Live with Grandma and Grandpa. She loved to regale the tale of how, while eating our meals, she’d turn to me and say, “Amanda, chew! Chew! Eat faster!”and then she’d turn to him and say, “Joshua, slow down!” I heard this story countless times, and each time she would say these words with a melodic laugh, the joy in her voice evident.

She always spoke her mind and was unapologetically her. She wanted the best for her family. She loved fiercely, and everything she did stemmed from that love. Grandma was my connection to our extended family, and from her I learned the importance of nurturing these relationships.

My memories of and with her seem so basic and simple. Eating at the Original Pancake House and going to the flea market every year when we’d come to visit her in Florida. Her loud snoring when she accompanied my mom and I to Arizona for my 30th birthday. Her treat of taking us on a Pink Jeep Tour, which I highly recommend if you’re ever in Sedona. Singing silly songs to me, which I am thankful that I still have some of them on voicemail.

She was very supportive of my creative endeavors; sewing, painting, especially writing. She would tell me how beautifully I wrote, and how I should look for a job as a writer. She believed in me, even when I didn’t.

I recently had emergency surgery and wound up in the hospital, and while my friends and family were there for me, Grandma went above and beyond, calling me daily, sending me care packages. She sent me rainbow cookies, which, if you know me, are my absolute favorite cookie. it was the best and most thoughtful -and delicious- present I had received.

Only two months ago, Grandma came up North to meet her great granddaughters, and we had a small get together. A part of me wishes I had known it would be the last time I would see her, and I would have hugged her tighter, and said all of the things I assumed she knew. But as I said earlier, I never thought of her as getting older. I just couldn’t fathom that there would be a time without her. But tomorrow is never promised. Things change on a dime.

At the end, I didn’t get to speak to her, but I did ask Mom to read her something from me. Mom said that right after she spoke the words I had written, Grandma passed on. I’d like to think she heard what I had to say.

How do you sum up 92 years in just a few minutes? The truth is, you don’t.

Growing old is a privilege not everyone gets. I know she knew how lucky she was. I’ve often said that if it wasn’t for her, literally none of us will be here. I truly hope that the best parts of her live on in us, and get passed down through the generations so that her memory lives on.

I love you Grandma. I hope I made you proud.