Make Way For May

Ever have a day with an insurmountable to do list, and instead of checking anything off of it, you take a nap? Rest. Self-care. Relaxation. In a state of almost meditation. This was my Sunday.

Fitting for Mental Health Awareness month. 

There’s so much to do, to reflect on, and to push forward with, this month and always.

It’s been awhile since I’ve written, and I think it’s because I haven’t wanted to be alone with my thoughts. Over the last three months, I took myself out of my comfort zone (a.k.a. home) by leaving it.

Road trip to NC. Brunch with the girls. Axe throwing. A NYC excursion (food and art supplies – the best kind). A far cry from a few years ago.

Two years ago I was literally afraid to leave home.

You can’t tell someone with OCD there’s a deadly, super contagious virus, and not expect them to freak out about it.

Life is still iffy. Far from normal, but I’ve never been normal. Two years of a world flipped upside down and an upended life, yet things are… getting better. Headed in the right direction.

I have the terrible habit of starting things without ever finishing them. Writing prompts. Craft projects. A graveyard of ideas that never went anywhere.

Recently, I found preliminary drafts that were never shared, and they just seem so… outdated. Some of it include things I don’t ever want to remember, and others are things I wanted to share in the hopes that it could help other people.

A part of negative thinking is believing that you are alone in that feeling.

But I didn’t share, and I no longer feel that way.

If we’re supposed to celebrate small wins, all of this is it. Writing to keep up with a goal. Leaving my house to enjoy life. Remembering that the things I’m afraid of aren’t as big as I make them out to be. Realizing that my feelings are valid and should be my driving force, instead of the external factors that are currently in control.

Letting go is one of the scariest things one can do, but in the end, isn’t it worth it?