Amends: A Way to Better Yourself, or Simply a Buffy Episode?

If Yom Kippur is the Day of Atonement, and in a way is about making amends, perhaps the most important person to make amends with this year, is myself. 

I remember reading the article Someone reported worker to HR for being mean to herself, and while the woman was awful to herself, it didn’t even hold a candle to the things I’ve said to my own face.

What started as self-deprecation quickly lost its humor and simply became scorn. The things I had once said in jest became things I actually believed to be truth.

And I’m not the only person I need to make amends to. None of us are perfect. We all have flaws, faults and failures to content with. We go about, living our lives, and sometimes upset or hurt people in the process.

Sometimes those people are complete strangers, who shouldn’t even be bothered with us. Sometimes, they’re our friends or family, people we care about that we have upset or disappointed.

Sometimes, it’s by complete accident. Other times, maybe it’s on purpose. Maybe we do things we know are wrong as a form or defiance or lashing out. Maybe it mostly has to do with us, and not those who end up affected by it.

To my friends and family, I say this to you now: If I have in any way upset or hurt you, I truly do ask for forgiveness. I try to live my life in the best way possible. Sometimes, it may be at odds with someone else’s best. The last thing I want is any negativity between us. So again, I humbly ask for your forgiveness in my wrongdoings.

And I should grant myself the same. Ask for, and bestow forgiveness… upon me.

I need to accept people for who they are. Starting with myself.

And if all else fails, I’ll just watch the Buffy episode Amends. Because no matter how much I think I may have messed anything up, if a 240+ year old vampire who slaughtered numerous people can be forgiven, so can I.