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Make Way For May
Ever have a day with an insurmountable to do list, and instead of checking anything off of it, you take a nap? Rest. Self-care. Relaxation. In a state of almost meditation. This was my Sunday. Fitting for Mental Health Awareness month. There’s so much to do, to reflect on, and to push forward with, this month and always. It’s been awhile since I’ve written, and I think it’s because I haven’t wanted to be alone with my thoughts. Over the last three months, I took myself out of my comfort zone (a.k.a. home) by leaving it. Road trip to NC. Brunch with the girls. Axe throwing. A NYC excursion (food and…
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New Year, Same Me
Every year, people around the globe celebrate – with the best of intentions – what is really just another day. So many resolutions! “New year, new me!” they exclaim, as if they needed to wait for this event to make a change. Well, new year, same me. Except I’m not at all the same. One year ago, a lot of people were hoping that 2021 would be more reminiscent of 2019 than 2020… we blinked, and it’s 2022 (hopefully not 2020, too). A few years back, I decided to have a theme, instead of making resolutions. Last year, the only thing I wanted was a new job. And I’m pleased…
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Don’t Settle for Acceptable, Strive for More
Please read Part 1, here, and Part 2, here. I had quit one job to focus on my health and recovery. But time off could only last for so long. I had come across another job that ticked some boxes, but the further along in the interview process I got, the more boxes it checked. While it was currently remote, the office was local. A convenient commute for whenever the time comes to return to in-person work (and NO MORE commuting to NYC! I don’t think I realized how much of a toll that took until I stopped doing it). After three separate interviews with different team members, I liked them all. They…
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The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions
Please read Part 1, here. I had needed a break, and I was handed one. Now, I just needed to use the opportunity. And then, something serendipitous happened. I found my dream job, at my dream company. What were the odds? I worked to revamp my resume, wrote a cover letter, and mailed it off first thing one morning. Within hours, an interview had been set up. It went well and checked all the boxes: interesting work, nice people, and I absolutely loved the product. Leaving the office, I felt really good. It was the first time in months. Around the same time, I had an interview with another company, doing work similar…
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There is No Band-Aid For Happiness
Today’s point of gratitude is simple: I’m grateful for my current job. Of course, in order to understand why this job is a breath of fresh air, I have to go back and recount the road to getting there. My first “real” (read: office) job was an interesting experience. I was good enough to be offered a promotion after 6 months (not taken, as the new position wasn’t a job I was interested in). One year after that, I was let go, seemingly out of nowhere. Being young, this really messed with my head. My next job, on the surface, was a dream. And I excelled at it. One year,…
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Hooray for the Arts
Day 2. 3 points of gratitude. Why is this so easy on some days and so hard on others? Sometimes it’s like grasping at straws… but, like anything, the more you do it, the easy it gets. Right? Music. Especially during work, I like to play music for background noise. It started when my previous boss put on CBSFM (bonus points if you know that station), which we bonded over. Thanks to open floor plans, when I left that job, I didn’t listen to music during work again… until working from home became my norm. And I forgot how much I love it. Sometimes, I randomize my playlist. Sometimes, I…
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30 Days of Gratitude
Isn’t it so great when a new goal happens to line up with an important date? Like, say, the first of the month? Since November is associated with Thanksgiving, I’ve decided, not for the first time, to keep a gratitude journal, but this time to make it public. Y’know, for accountability. I’ve always fallen on the pessimistic side; somehow, I’ve managed to train myself to look for the bad, and I succeed admirably. I need to start looking on the flip side, and start focusing on what I do have, while I have it. If the past few months have shown me anything, it’s that things disappear in an instant.…
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Lucky 13
If there was ever a year to test us, this was it. Between the effects of 2020 still lingering, my surgeries and diagnosis, two family deaths in the past two months, and the general ups and downs of life, this really was a make-or-break year. This was the year that showed me, again, that life is better together. I say again because throughout our 13 years, I’ve felt this way over and over. I said before that you were the human love of my life, and I still believe that. We are on the same wavelength. So often, we think the same things, reference the same quotes, or follow the…
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In Remembrance
Feisty, fiery, full of life. These are just some of the words to describe my grandma. She was always so vivacious and active. Even as the years passed, I never thought of her as getting older. She was just Grandma. “90 years young,” was often said, and it reflects her spirit up until the end. One of my favorite photos is of me and my cousin Josh when we’re little, taken outside of Friendly’s, right after going to see Sesame Street Live with Grandma and Grandpa. She loved to regale the tale of how, while eating our meals, she’d turn to me and say, “Amanda, chew! Chew! Eat faster!”and then…
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Recovery and Reflection
The last few months have been largely about recovery and reflection, neither of which seem to be going the way I would have hoped. Recovery: Slow healing is better than no healing, but it’s still frustrating. To lose everything in an instant, one would hope the reverse would also be true. Instead, it’s a long, slow climb to get back to where things were. And of course, since it’s still in “the early stages”, there’s no guarantee things will go back. It’s been five months, which feels like forever. But that’s not even 25% of the timeline given. It’s so hard to not feel negative emotions. Anger, sadness, frustration. The…